Q: A friend announces she’s getting divorced, and you bad-mouth her ex-to-be–only to hear a week later that htey’re reconciling. What to do now?
A: If the couple stays together, your comments will always hang in the air between you and your friend. So come clean: “I’m sorry I said those things about Tom. I was worried for you and reacted by making him the bad guy. I’m really happy that you two have committed to working things out.”
Next time: Offer support without slandering the spouse: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Thanks for telling me, and let me know what I can do to help.” If she wants to criticize the guy, let her go to town–just listen.
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